Tell them about where you grew up, where you went to school, and what you don’t like about your job. Ask them easy questions to start out and then joke with them a little bit.
When the time is right, tell them something sincere. We should get together for a drink sometime” usually works really well.
I want the date to have a place, or at least, a notion of a place. See, I’m not a bitch: I know you are scared to ask me on a date.
“A drink.” “Coffee.” “Dinner.” “Walking around a bookstore together.” I sincerely do not care where we go or what we do; I just want to prepare for it (eat dinner beforehand, don’t eat dinner beforehand) and know how I should dress (heels? I know you’re afraid I might say “no.” You’re afraid I might think you’re ugly, unfunny, boring, that you don’t make enough money, or any number of things.
I have something I would like to talk to you about. Don’t ask me if I’m free “sometime” on Friday night and say you’ll get in touch that night to “see what’s up.” Don’t ask me if I’m “interested in getting a drink sometime.” I have been talking to you, haven’t I? Do I seem like a raging nutjob that’s going to turn you down in a way that humiliates you in front of your friends, your boss, your extended family and national television? Are you really so afraid to ask me out for a cup of coffee at Starbucks and risk a .003 percent chance of rejection that you just won’t do it? My gender has nothing to do with my frustration here: it’s 2011 and I am not Suzy Homemaker from 1952 who follows rigid gender roles to a T (although I do confess to enjoying more traditional men).
I am not doing it for my health, because I have nothing better to do with my time, or because you’re so goddamned interesting that I can’t resist your witty banter over gchat. I said this before but it bears repeating: I don’t want to “hang out” with you. I hang out on my friends’ couches and thumb through magazines while we gossip with each other. And while we’re on the subject of not “hanging out,” don’t ask me to come meet your friends at a bar, either. When I am asked out on dates with days of the week and times and places, I know the man is interested in getting to know me enough to actually put some thought into planning what we are going to do, that I’m not just casually “hanging out” with him and his friends. I know whether to get a manicure or do a face mask beforehand.
Just chat for a while before meet each other Even if you seem like the perfect guy, women are going to be a little hesitant to meeting somebody from the Internet.
Do yourself a favor and have them ready for her before hand. Like, .003 percent, should Clive Owen show up on my front stoop with a package of Magnums. I should not be the one who has to ask men on dates — or limply not-ask, as is more often the case — all the time because they’re too afraid of getting rejected. You have to realize if we’ve been talking on the phone, emailing, and flirting, it means I am interested in you and your chances of being rejected are much, much lower. I’m as afraid of rejection as the next human being but I’m willing to risk it if it means a great date with a wonderful man.If you seem too eager, she will find it desperate or creepy.
Neither of these is great for trying to get a girl to go out with you.Use all of the information that have gained from talking to them over the last week to come up with a great date that you will both enjoy.